The words better left unspoken

brokenwing0123 @ 2008-06-16T23:11:00

2008-06-17T03:12:46Z

Seven more weeks of this? Really?
But at least I have you to keep me going...

brokenwing0123 @ 2008-06-13T09:02:00

2008-06-13T13:03:40Z

I'm happy. :)

Also...

Ouch

2008-05-20T19:51:35Z

I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth extracted this morning. I was awake for the whole thing. They just gave me lots of novocaine and some laughing gas that was supposed to help me relax. I could still feel my heart beating really fast for awhile. And I was really tense--clutched onto my t-shirt and jeans really tightly for pretty much the whole procedure. And eyes stayed closed, of course. It didn't hurt. I just felt lots of pushing and pulling and such. I was out in a little over an hour.

Couldn't talk--and still can't--because of all the numbness and the gauze stuffed in the back of my mouth. And now the novocaine has started to wear off. They prescribed Vicodin for the pain and Amoxicillin to help prevent an infection. Unfortunately I have not yet been able to take either because I can't swallow anything. Not even a sip of water. That didn't occur to me right away, so my first attempt at taking the meds turned out quite messy. So it's definitely starting to hurt, and there's not a thing I can do about it.

I'm applying ice for the swelling, and I guess maybe it's helping the pain a little, but not enough. And I've been doing lots of drooling. Fun stuff, let me tell you. Plus the gauze pads I have to keep replacing as they get saturated with blood. I hope the bleeding stops soon. And I hope I can start ingesting stuff; painkillers and food would be great.

Haiku

2008-05-14T07:04:16Z

Imagination
More important than knowledge
Great example: LOST

God bless you, ThinkGeek.

1/2

2008-05-13T04:06:20Z

Having finished the last of my finals today, I am now officially halfway through college. ...How did this happen? It has gone by so quickly. Several of my friends (seniors) will be leaving me in a matter of days. At least I get to stick around for senior week and graduation to see them off. I will miss them terribly--a few in particular. I can only hope our paths will cross again in the future.

Now enough of that melancholiness. In other news, I seem to have gotten some sun lately. Well, I know I have because I was the one who chose to sit out in the bright sun on Saturday as I was attempting to study. I wasn't even out very long, and I ran back inside to put on some sunblock after a bit. But I can definitely feel the burn on my face when I take a shower or wash my face. At least it's not especially visible and doesn't really hurt. More of an annoying warmth than anything.

Also, I started writing this a few hours ago but forgot about it. So more news now! I just got back from going to see Iron Man with a few friends. It was quite awesome. Very entertaining, in the least. 'Twas a good way to celebrate the end of finals.

The end.

Peace Corps

2008-05-07T02:16:44Z

As many of you probably know, I am planning on going into the Peace Corps after I graduate from Centre. I'll probably wait a couple months so I can spend some time with friends and family and have a chance to relax a bit and enjoy some things in the States that I might have little or no access to for two years.

I came across a book called "So, You Want to Join the Peace Corps... What to Know Before You Go", written by a returned Peace Corps volunteer based on advice and actual experiences of both him and other volunteers. I ordered it from Amazon last week and got it in the mail yesterday. I'm about halfway through it already--there are 136 actual pages, plus some appendices. I know I'm getting a bit ahead of myself since the Peace Corps is still more than two years away, but this is something I've really been looking forward to ever since I first made up my mind to do it. Reading through the book has made me both more excited and more nervous.

I guess it hadn't really clicked that I'll be leaving the United States for two years (2 years, 3 months, to be exact). Leaving the country itself would probably be tolerable, but I'm going to be without my family and friends for that long, as well. The closest experience I have to relate to that is when I first started college, all alone and 400 miles away from home. So I guess if I multiply that feeling by like a million, probably more, even, that'll be the Peace Corps.

Wow. Talk about the experience of a lifetime. This'll definitely be it.

Gorgeous

2008-05-02T04:45:21Z

I came across a photographer's page that was linked from A Softer World, a web comic I read. He photographs on expired film, so the pictures turn out having a completely different feel. Also, the girl in many of his photographs is gorgeous.

This is the site I got those pictures from, and his main page can be found here.

Bed Bites Back

2008-04-30T20:18:36Z

Is this not terrifying?

Lots of Flying

2008-04-27T18:51:33Z

It seems I will be doing much flying in December and January.

Worst-case scenario:

*Louisville to Chicago, December 12, beginning of Christmas break
*Drive from Chicago to Michigan for Christmas and come back on December 26
*Chicago to Boston, December 26?, APO National Convention
*Boston to Chicago, either December 30 or January 1, depending on whether I stick around to spend New Year's Eve in Boston
*Chicago to Louisville, January 3, to join my class in flying to Australia
*Louisville to Melbourne, Australia, January 3, Centre term sociology course
*Melbourne to Louisville, January 25, class is over
*Louisville to Chicago, January 25, Centre term break
*Chicago to Louisville, February 3, spring term classes start February 4

"Best"-case scenario:

*Louisville to Chicago, December 12, beginning of Christmas break
*Drive to Michigan for Christmas, returning on December 26
*Chicago to Boston, December 27?, APO National Convention
*Boston to Melbourne, January 3, Centre term class
*Melbourne to Chicago, January 25, class is over/Centre term break
*Chicago to Louisville, February 3, spring classes begin next day

Or it could be anywhere in between. It all really depends on what ends up being cheapest and most convenient. I'd be willing to pay a little more for some added convenience and decreased stress, but I'm not made of money, so I have to draw a line somewhere.

The part I really don't like is that I have so little control over a lot of this. The flight to Australia is going to be uber-expensive. So if my professor can get a good group rate, I will have no choice but to fly to Louisville to join them because it could end up being cheaper in the long run. If that's the case, then maybe the return flight will at least have a transfer at Chicago, in which case I can just get off there and not get on the connecting flight back to Louisville, since I plan on going home once again for Centre term break.

Bah! So much to figure out.

brokenwing0123 @ 2008-04-15T20:04:00

2008-04-16T00:27:16Z

I am long overdue for a post. Problem is I don't know what to talk about. I'm not going to bitch about my busy life and lack of sleep because no one wants to hear it, and, to be honest, I don't really mind it. I'd rather have too much to do than not enough...at least most of the time.

So, let's see, where does that leave me? Okay, I'll start with a quick listing of some of the things that have been happening lately:

+ donated blood yesterday
+ found out some more logistical stuff regarding my summer REU
+ went to Thunder Over Louisville for the first time ('Twas awesome.)
+ going to see Stomp tomorrow night
+ APO formal Friday evening
+ hall program--free Baskin Robbins and a walk to Constitution Square
+ lots of tutoring (most of which I still need to collect payment for)
+ got elected co-VP of Fellowship (APO) for next year
+ find out tomorrow whether I'll be living in Ganfield (bleh) or Pearl Hall (hooray!) next year

And that's all that comes to mind right now. So a boring post, I know, but it'll have to do for now.

Jeans

2008-02-22T21:36:26Z

So apparently something ate my favorite jeans. Well, okay, not really, but they did get really messed up. Some grease or oil or something managed to get on them at work today, and they just decided to tear to shreds at those places. Boo. :(

brokenwing0123 @ 2008-01-28T02:38:00

2008-01-28T08:41:51Z

Well, then...

Update: Partly to spite the people who pointed out that this post didn't tell anyone anything, and also because recent developments have made this necessary, I will reiterate my previous statement with a simple "eep." And heck, we'll throw in an "oh my" for good measure.

brokenwing0123 @ 2008-01-17T01:37:00

2008-01-17T06:43:18Z

Wow, I feel pretty dumb. Not just once, but twice? How could I have been so wrong in both cases?

brokenwing0123 @ 2008-01-12T23:56:00

2008-01-13T05:02:51Z

Fine. Here you go. I figured I'd better post this before we do the in-class critiques on Monday or Tuesday. Also, it could still use some work, I know, and I don't really like the title I gave it, so it'll go titleless for now.

I stay up late
on the computer and look
for answers. But
all I find are
mangled headlines
about
tongue-cutting teachers,
firefighting panties,
marijuana-laced meatballs.
Meanwhile
the world is crumbling,
humanity is betraying its children.
Where
is your frying pan Jesus
when we need him?
Who
will save us now?
As maladroit superstars steal
more than just spotlight,
millions
are hungry and homeless.
Do your twenty-six cars
and hundred-room home
help
you sleep at night?
Is this really what you call freedom?

brokenwing0123 @ 2007-12-20T02:30:00

2007-12-20T08:30:33Z

I’ve decided to write an entry entirely out of song lyrics. It was originally going to be random lyrics from various bands, but, as I started writing it, I realized I could do it with just Straylight Run lyrics. So here goes...

Let these thoughts creep in,
Let ‘em seep right in.
It's always just too much or not enough,
And I'm overwhelmed.
It never gets easier.
This is not the way we were told that it was going to be.
I'm gonna lay here alone,
Close my eyes.
And I've got you on my mind.
Desire gave way to a false sense of hope,
And we fell for the lie that it’s what we all chose.
A laundry list of problems
Doesn't make you interesting,
And never getting help doesn't make you brave.
I don't want this anymore,
Don't wanna be stuck here.
Sing like you think no one's listening.
Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything.

Haha, if that wasn’t cryptic, I don’t know what is. It’s not supposed to make sense, really. Just letting out various thoughts, all jumbled together. Straylight Run is pretty much my soundtrack to life. I love them.

brokenwing0123 @ 2007-12-03T21:50:00

2007-12-04T03:03:58Z

I mentioned in an email to my parents that I need to start looking for a summer internship while I am home for winter break, and I also noted that I have come across a few good ones with nonprofit organizations or through Americorps and things of that nature. Here was my dad's* reply:

"These internships that you are looking at with
Americorps or with the nonprofit organizations, are
they paying jobs? Just curious as to where these
might be located. Illinois? California? Texas? A
paying job is what you need."

Damn you and your money! I don't care! I mean, I know I'm a broke college student, and the extra money would be nice, but that's not what I care about. I want to help people, damnit. It's basically my ultimate goal in life. And I've never said this to anyone before, for fear of coming across weird or a bit conceited, but I know I am destined for greatness. I just know it. And I don't mean wealth or power or anything like that. I mean I am going to make a difference in the world. I don't know how yet, but I'm going to do it. So maybe I'll end up broke and barely able to support myself, or I'll maybe I'll make a lot of money and donate most of it to worthy causes. Either way, money doesn't matter to me. It's a nice thing to have, sure, but it's not going to stand in my way. If I am accepted into a fantastic internship that doesn't pay anything, I'd gladly do it. So we'll see what happens. Parents, just try to stop me.

*Update: Oops, it was my mom that sent the email. I didn't realize that until I received another email from my parents' address saying, "I know that Mom replied mostly to your recent email last night." Hmm, she did, did she? Oh, I guess she did. My bad. I don't feel like I should be so harsh, then, but I like this post and don't want to edit it.

brokenwing0123 @ 2007-12-02T13:47:00

2007-12-02T18:53:18Z

I was looking on the PostSecret website (http://postsecret.blogspot.com), as I usually do on Sundays, and one secret in particular really struck me. So I shall share it with you.

brokenwing0123 @ 2007-11-18T14:35:00

2007-11-18T19:43:21Z

Those who know me should be well aware that I like to plan things well in advance. This has led me to realize that my finals schedule for spring semester is going to suck majorly. Classes end Wednesday, May 7th, and the first day of finals is Friday, May 9th. My first final will be Friday, May 9th, from 7-10pm. Then two more finals on Monday, May 12th--from 8:30-11:30 am and from 1:30-4:30pm. And my last final will be on Tuesday, May 13th, from 8:30-11:30am. Not cool. I know I don't have to worry about this yet, but it's still upsetting. Boo.

brokenwing0123 @ 2007-10-26T21:25:00

2007-10-27T01:34:48Z

I've been gettings lots of little injuries lately. Backed up into a platform thing while carrying another platform thing and removed a few layers of skin on part of my ankle. Stabbed myself with a screwgun--I didn't pay much attention to it until I looked down and saw my finger covered in blood, but now it's covered with a lovely pink Hello Kitty bandage. The random toy guy injury a few weeks back. And then a minor cat mauling. So I'll have lots of fun scars to show off and stories to tell. And you don't even have to worry about avoiding me for safety reasons because most of my injuries were self-inflicted. :)

brokenwing0123 @ 2007-10-10T02:38:00

2007-10-10T06:39:56Z

I'm not allowed to be feeling this way, but I can't help it.

Dilemma

2007-08-29T20:56:28Z

I have run into a bit of a dilemma regarding my class schedule. Let me start with some background info:

I had a little incident near the end of last year and forgot to register for fall classes during my scheduled time. I remembered a day or so later, by which time the PHY 210 class I wanted to get into was already full. I placed my name on a waiting list, telling them I would drop HIS 110 if they found an opening for me. I went all summer without hearing anything, so I safely assumed I would just be in HIS 110.

Now for the dilemma:

I received an e-mail this afternoon informing me that they have an opening for me in the PHY 210 class, section b, which meets on MWF from 11:30 to 12:30, and the lab would be on Tuesdays from 8-11am. I need to let them know my decision ASAP, but I don't know what to do. Basically, I have 3 choices:

1. Add PHY 210 to my current schedule, for a total of 16 credit hours, 10 hours of which would be gen eds
2. Add PHY 210 and drop HIS 110, for a more convenient schedule but other problems that I will soon get to
3. Leave my schedule as is and (try to) take PHY 210 next fall

And for the real dilemma:

Here is why this is such a difficult decision. If I go with option 1, I'll be overloaded with A LOT of work, and I'll have to let my work-study supervisor know that he might have to change my hours (which we haven't been told about yet). My other classes are SOC 110 with Weston, CSC 221 with Oldham, Linear Algebra with McAllister, and, like I said, HIS 110 with Tubb. Everyone tells me that Linear Algebra should be easy, especially after having taken Calc 3, but we'll see about that. And the other classes will be a lot of work, especially reading, and History especially is something that I need to put a lot of time and effort into.

I'm hesitant to just drop HIS 110 for several reasons. First of all, it's with Tubb, and, if I wait to take it later, I might not get to have it with him. Also, we've already had 2 days of class, and I've done a reasonable amount of reading for it already. Plus, I have all the books, some of which were not bought from Centre's bookstore and thus cannot be returned--although, really, that's only 1 small book. This option would once again cause some difficulties with my work-study scheduling; I'd feel bad if Will had the schedule all figured out already and had to change it because of this.

Option 3. I'm thinking this sounds like the best possibility, provided there won't be too many CSC classes offered next fall that I'll need/want to take--since most aren't offered yearly because of a small number of students majoring in Computer Science. Same goes for some of the less popular (not required) math classes. PHY 210 is only offered in the fall, and I would very much like to have it out of the way before my senior year, so it's hopefully either this year or next. I don't want to have to worry about overloading my schedule next fall, though, nor do I want that now. So I think my best solution for the time being is to find out which Math and CSC courses will probably be offered next fall and see how many of those I will need/want to take for my major. This will allow me to see how much room I will have left in my schedule for a gen ed(s).

This next spring (Spring '08), I know for sure that I will be taking Discrete Mathematics, Foundations of Mathematics, and CSC 223 (which includes a lab), provided these all work out--I don't see why they wouldn't. I'm also looking at REL 110 as a gen ed, as well as Computational Geometry, which Dr. Collins told Molly about, who in turn told me, and it sounds fascinating. I don't know whether I should take one of these (if so, which one) or both. Decisions, decisions. Gah, why must this be so difficult?!

brokenwing0123 @ 2007-07-31T02:52:00

2007-07-31T08:00:21Z

At the beginning of the summer, I couldn't wait to return to school, and now I find myself wishing I could stay here. Funny how that works.

Gah

2007-07-27T18:17:38Z

The back of my legs are still peeling a bit from the sunburn I got a month ago! What the heck is that? Not cool. My back is fine, though, at least. It was really bad. Care to see how red it was?

Quite disturbing, I know. If it looks that bad, just imagine how it felt. It was my fault, though, for forgetting to put on sunblock before I headed off to the beach. Never again.

Anywho, I just felt like sharing that.

Diamond Rings

2007-07-01T03:59:39Z

I came across this on the Mythbusters website and had to share it:

"The first recorded instance of a man giving his bride-to-be a diamond ring was in 1477, when Archduke Maximilian of Hamburg gave one to Mary of Burgundy. However, this was only an occasional occurrence among royalty and the extremely wealthy — hardly what would be called a tradition.

It wasn't until the 1930s, when the South African diamond company De Beers tried to boost sales by working with Hollywood starlets and movie studios to promote the concept of presenting a diamond ring as part of a marriage proposal, that the idea started to catch on. In 1947, De Beers launched their highly successful "A Diamond Is Forever" marketing campaign, and convinced men that they needed to spend two to three months' salary in order to present their intended with a suitable engagement ring. Today, approximately 75 percent of engagements include a diamond ring."

Ummm, yeah, have to love the United States and all its damn commercialism. No diamond ring for me, thank you very much.

brokenwing0123 @ 2007-05-16T22:27:00

2007-05-17T02:38:05Z

So I didn't get to say goodbye to most of my friends. I can count on one hand the number of friends I got a real goodbye from. Whatever.